Saturday, July 24, 2010

This week was a tough one... no let me start that over. This summer has been a tough one. My family has been going through a lot this summer, starting with the rapid decline in health shortly following the death of my grandmother. As expected as death can be it rarely makes it any easier. We had all been expecting or comfortable with the idea of my grandmothers passing. She was suffering from alzimers and the disease had taken over who she was. Through the process of hospice care and into funeral plans and arrangements I saw a different side to my parents than I had ever seen. They were both strong and making sure that everything was taken care of. Making sure siblings and most importantly my grandfather were taken care of. They grieved in smaller groups or alone at home. I witnessed grief in a way that I had never considered. We mourned her and that she was no longer with us, but we also celebrated her life. Laughing and telling stories that made her the woman she was, the woman we all remember from before her mind started to go. I had some amazing conversations with my parents about life and what it means to really live and love. We all bonded in ways that could only come from my grandmother passing.

This past week we recieved word that my parents good friend Lisa had died. Lisa was 43 and in perfect health. She was happily married with three children all in their teens. The story we heard was that she was going for her daily run and collapsed. While arrangements for the funeral were being made and our family trip plans were being changed I watched my mother closely. I had called her as soon as I heard what had happened. I could hear the shock in her voice and the tears in her eyes as we spoke. It was just a general feeling of how the hell could this have happened? My mother is 3 years older than Lisa. I can't say for certain but I think this is the first close friend she has had pass before her time. Among my family and our close friends who knew Lisa I was apart of and overheard conversations about how short life can be, how precious life is, and that really... it could be any of us. Lisa had a stroke, with no evidence in her heart of blocks or buildups or clots this is just bizarre. The funeral took place yesterday and it was a truly beautiful service, and as it happens Lisa had revised her living will only 2 months before... so everything we experienced was exactly what Lisa wanted.

Death comes in so many forms it terrifys us to think about our mortality on a regular basis. For some reason It has been in my thoughts a lot lately. In hearing about Lisa my thoughts immediately go to thoughts of that could just as easily been my mother. This thought shook me to my core. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her around for any part of what I have already experienced and what I will eventually experience. She is such an important person to me and has taught me how to be the woman that I am. She has taught me how to love. I cherish my relationship with my mother and through all of this I am reminded that I need to tell her that more. Obviously not just her... everyone who is important in my life. So this is my way of reminding anyone interested. Don't wait. Ever. Tell those that you love that you love them. You can never say it enough. One day you won't have the chance and you will wish that you had just one more time, one more minute, one more I love you.