Friday, June 10, 2011

Getting back into the habit. or at least trying to.

August?  Seriously that was the last time I posted anything?  Well honestly its probably better considering anything I would have been writing about would have come across as just plain whiny.  And nobody likes a winier.  Lets just say I have learned a lot this year... and somehow I don't think the lessons are even close to over. 

I spent a good amount of time in therapy since august for several reasons.  I covered all the basics,  daddy issues, work pressure,  self worth blah blah blah.  I can't knock it though I learned more about me than I thought possible... I mean come on how could I not know me?  That is just silly. I am grateful for my time there however as a result I hit my bottom... a few more times than I thought was possible.  I mean isn't it called rock bottom for a reason?  That's what I thought too.  To sum up... I've been in trouble with the law,  I was promoted at work and almost a week later I was fired,  I had a wonderful visit from my ex,  I had wonderful feelings for that ex return which was just scary to be honest.  So to sum up,  I am currently unemployed,  on probation and trying to work through the fact that the guy I'm crazy about lives across the country... a guy that I was engaged to... a guy that I left.  How effed up is that... this is why everyone needs a therapist.  And sometimes medication.  Yeah thats right... but hey its working. 

So where to go from here?  It feels like the next few weeks will be taken one day at a time,  not that two or three at a time is an option,  but I have to move out of my amazing one bedroom apartment into a fairly awesome townhouse with two roommates.  I have to pack and move in 2 weeks.  Ugh.  Adjusting to roommates is going to be so much fun.  I have a few months more of probation which I can't wait for that to be over.  Its torturous.  Seriously.  And as far as Jamie goes... well we will just have to see.  First priority is to find an effing job.  I spent some time,  and by that I mean I have been significantly more lazy than I would like to admit over the last few months,  just taking it easy and trying not to worry about anything... except of course not worrying didn't happen.  But I just basically took advantage of not working... I mean when does that really happen?  But now I'm bored.  REALLY bored.  Netflix officially owns my soul I'm sure of it. 

So that is the catch up.  hopefully I can break my bad habit of writing a post or two and then nothing for months at a time.